I am nervous today.  I am usually nervous when I was put under spotlight, like speak in front of a group, or worse, for an impromptu speech; I am usually nervous when I realized I had made big mistake, for example I found out I screwed up my daughter’s RESP that the money we can take back at full term is much less than the money we put in, sucks!  I am usually nervous when I have  to make big decision too, like marrying my husband after we’ve been together for 10 years and I literally lived with my then future MIL for over 2 years.

But today is a bit different.  You see, this evening I am going to Kathy Buckworth ‘s Girls Night Out at Springridge Farm and meet a bunch of cool people I know from Twitter.  Some of them are successful business owners and some of them are amazing moms, they are all funny and loving life, they are THE celebs on Twitter and I like them a lot.  The problem is, I don’t know if they will like me as much, or, like me at all.  Yeah, I am such a baby.  So I hope it is not too late to confess what a real person I am, before the time runs out.

Boring

I am a very boring person, I have no particular interest, and essentially a conversation killer.

I don’t wear makeup, it takes no longer than 60 seconds to fix my upper part even now my girls don’t really need my attention in the morning, I admire those moms who always, always look glamor even when their kids are younger than mine.

I don’t watch popular TV shows people talk about on Twitter, like Glee, or Lost or 24, I only watch CSI, The Mentalist, Criminal Minds (you get the idea) to prove that I am a logical thinker, smart person in an unreal world.  You have to understand it was a huge relief when Kathy and Anne tweeted about they don’t watch/like Glee ether, I decided to come out of it.

Sneaky (or Nasty if you really want to call it)

The thing is, I know a lot of going on on Twitter by observing people’s talk, like Sharon‘s son got sick after a splash pad play date, JoAnne and Heather usually hit the gym at 5am (unimaginable for me), or Jacki is going to start her business very soon, and Tamara‘s daughter won the Oakville Cup soccer…

I listen, not participate much in the conversation. Why? Not because I type slow, or my internet connection is slow, or I slow talk or I slow move; because I like to know people in a quiet way and I try not to be a conversation killer before I kill myself.  By the way, all the slow stuff here are true.

Competitive

Some of you already know how competitive I am as a mom, I am especially competitive when it comes to the “status”.  Say, both Julie and Laurel are very popular and they are good friends, then I want to be their friends too, I want to be IN THE CIRCLE, I want to be ON THE LIST.  IT IS A BIG DEAL, for me.

In about six hours I will find out the truth — I will find out where, if not whether, I belong, and maybe I won’t be afraid to share my dark sides any more.

Will you let me know? Please talk slowly, thank you.