Not too long ago, I slightly (meaning without realizing it) dislocated my shoulder, and it ended up developing into tendinitis but I still thought I could keep things together, because you know, there are so much to do and I need to keep going, and be perfect.  That’s right.  Then, over the long weekend, everything sort of collapsed; I can’t perform daily functions as woman, wife or mom because my left arm simply dropped, has killer pain caused by sudden movement.

I am learning to let go.  Trust me , this is not a easy task at all, for CFO, a.k.a. Control Freak Officer, like me.  And here is what I’ve learned;

All women Are Beautiful

As woman, we put on skin/hair/beauty care products,  we try to stay in fashion, stay with trends, the dress the tops the skirts, and the shoes the boots the flats.  With my arm operates at 23% of capacity, I decided as long as I am clean, I am likable.  Assuming every woman is beautiful, I just want to be a good woman, a woman.

All Wives Are Amazing

As (not desperate) wife, we clean the rooms, we mop the floor,  we wipe the counter top and  we vacuum the whole house. We run errands, shop groceries, empty dishwasher and fold laundry.  With my arm operates at 23% of capacity, I decided as long as my house is clean, it is livable.  Assuming every wife is amazing, I just want to be a good wife, a wife.

All Moms Are Super

As mom, we make breakfast, we pack lunch, we tend their homework and we follow the daily routines cause we have to stick together.  We go on the field trips, we participate the teacher-parent interviews, we sit in the school concerts, we even help with their school projects if you know what I mean.  With my arm operates at 23% of capacity, I decided as long as my kids are clean, they are lovable.  Assuming every mom is super, I just want to be a good mom, a mom.

Sometimes, well, o.k. most of time if you let go, you are actually doing yourself a favour, and doing people around you a (huge) favour.  And the beauty of it is, once you let go there is NO let down.  I am going to practice this every day now, how about you?

While eating Hot Pot (A less effort Chinese New Year tradition), a long time friend mentioned he was very frustrated because he thinks his business contacts was not being sincere or serious about working with him.  Here is the tidbit of the frustration:

Friend : “I did you 3 favours in the last 6 weeks, why can’t you help once me when I ask you?”

His contact: “Sorry, it’s your choice.  I didn’t ask you to.”

There is no right or wrong to this, it’s just different.  Being in Canada over 10 years I certainly experience the culture difference first hand, and how Easterners handle business differently than Westerners.

Chinese starts with trust then builds up relationship with the belief that favours received will be definitely returned, lots of business deals are signed during entertainment occasions, contracts or agreement come after.  Hard work is in our blood we just don’t say it, and we trust people we work with are the same.

Where most Westerners, I believe, would first prefer to have some kind formal arrangement or relationship in place before pursuit further; systematic and process-driven.

Twitter may be the game changer in this, if the language is available.  Social media is able to bridge the gap of trust as people who are successful on Twitter are usually generous givers.

If possible, please don’t use the auto translation services on the internet, it can only get you so far but chances are you will get lost in the translation