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The B-word, what do a 10-year-old need to know?

December 21, 2011 By 4 Comments

The B-word

My older daughter came home the other day and asked me “What’s the B-word? I am the only one in the class know nothing about it”, needless to say she got laughed at.  A little background here, she WILL turn 10 in March 2012 (Yay for two digits!  Big milestone!!) and is the second youngest in her class, everyone else is 10 years old at this point.  Sure there are quite a few things she needs to catch up with but definitely not this one, which also got me thinking.

Why not? You ask. 

Well, my girls do have a list of words – the ones they know not appropriate to say in public; and if you haven’t noticed, we speak Mandarin at home so there’s little chance we’ll use any of those words.  Also, we say shoot instead of the other word, and only once had I dropped F-bomb because this dangerous drivers almost got us killed,

What’s the harm? You argue.

Yes, I understand and fully accept kids today are much more exposed to the world than we were, and they are going to learn and talk those words anyway, sooner or later; this is one thing I am not in the rush for.  I do believe we parents are still the biggest influencers to kids at this age, it’s also a good reminder for us, or for me personally; that the more we say it the more likely it’ll become second nature without realizing it, what’s the plus side of that, really?

My response to this curious, confused 9-year-old is “If it’s a good word your friend will tell you about it, and if not then you probably don’t need to know”.

Sure, you have sympathy for my poor girls, and I may have not prepared them well for the real world; quite possibly I am blindfolded in this issue, or being a b*tch or a b*stard, but what could I have done differently or what would you do if the world they is full of these sh*t?

A little help here please ??

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What I Really Want When I am 45?

November 28, 2011 By 2 Comments

It’s my birthday today, and OMG! I am turning 45!! Normally I won’t make it a big deal nor we celebrate with big feast (is the husband reading??), but half way into my life journey — yes I plan to live to 90 years old so I can see and be entertained by my grandchildren, what do I want for this special day?

Funny enough that sometime last week I got call from a company interested in my background and experience, asked if I would consider to role that has potential to grow, and well, you know those rosy things they tell you before bringing you on board.  It would be great if this happened years ago when I was really looking for jobs, I wrote it here and here; unfortunately the commute plus long hours in the office (minimum required 7am~7pm) plus the “being told what to do” for about $75K turned me off.  There is no way I am willing to trade half of my time just to fit into other people’s schedule, not even for money.

So what do I want? A title may.  Look at friends my age, Managing Director, Partner, or Chief Strategist, all sorts make me feel good.  Well, come to think about it, I do have some of these glamorous titles;

CEO = Control Education Office

I am responsible for my girls’ education, both academically and socially.  I need to know what they learn in regular day school, in Chinese school, in various sports and activities, without over scheduling or write them off because they are not performing well, or not showing talents.  I need to know the causes lead to results to worry less.

CFO = Control Feedings Officer

I am responsible for everything my family eat, I may not go out of my way to buy all organic but I am definitely conscious and pay close attention to what I buy (and hubby cooks) to put on the table.  To keep on top of being healthy, I need to know the nutrients and nutrition well to worry less. 

CMO = Control Media Officer

I am responsible for my girls’ media encounter experiences, including TV shows, movies and internet.  They only watch the shows I approved and my ears are always up for what’s been said in the conversation, I absolutely go to movies with them so we can discuss afterwards, I setup Gmail accounts AND the passwords for them so I can lurk when I sensed odd situations.  When it comes to internet gaming/surfing, we are VERY clear that (1) don’t give out parents email addresses unless you have permissions, (2) no downloading unless one of parents agrees, (3) never ever chat with people you don’t know in real life online, unless ahem, you are on social media.  Some of these rules may seem stringent and certainly will change when the girls get older, but for now I need to get it in their heads early to worry less. 

Yes, I am a Control-Freak, and not ashamed to admit it; I don’t thing there’s anything wrong if all I want to have control is for my family’s well being and protect them in this society.  Without my family, I am nothing.

You think I have it?  Do I have it all?  While I am working on it, I am also buying some cool stuff from Roots Canada, because it’s 25% off + free shipping and the cyber-weekend sale ends on my birthday. :)

ps–I am not affiliated with Roots Canada (although I wish!), they simply have good stuff!!

 

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Once In A Life Time Experience

November 5, 2011 By Leave a Comment

You know our trip back to Taiwan in the summer, and my some “serious thinking” takeaways here.

Why I say this is a once-in-a-life-time experience is easy to understand with the video below, not only the amazing exhibition was in Taipei just so happened when we were there, we also were able to score some sought after tickets and actually went to see it with our own eyes!!

Well, ok, mom’s brag here too :) My girls got to be in this short version animated film and it adds another layer of precious experience !

If you want to learn more about the painting Along the River During the Qingming Festival, go here

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How Services Attitude Is Different — Canada v.s Taiwan ~ From Kids’ eyes

September 20, 2011 By 1 Comment

Some of you know, this past summer I took my 9-year-old and 7-year-old girls back to Taiwan, we spent 7 weeks there and for the first time ever — away from home not as  whole family.  Now, to say this trip creates stronger bond among us is an understatement, let’s just say I yell less at the girls ever since :)

Taiwan is where I from so the whole trip felt like going home, not on vacation; I am glad I was able to explain many things in details to the girls should they spot things unusual and unfamiliar.  The following observations are not one time experience, we’ve watched and tested and it has been consistent throughout.

To make fair reasonable comparison, I waited a while so the girls have time to validate what they experienced in both places (here is another excuse for procrastination), also to not compareg apples and oranges, we’ve ruled out things like; Taiwanese Dollars are so small (foreign exchange and currency issue), or Canada should have night markets (regulation issue); true, there’s T&T Waterfront Night Market once a year, however it’s different when you can try and taste hundreds of food stands every. single. day.

The services differences my girls noticed are:

  • At check out counter at 7-Eleven, other CVS (Convenient Stores), or any retail stores : The clerk always carefully put our merchandises in shopping bag and if we brought our own reusable ones, they even organize all merchandise to make sure they “sit” nicely; where here in Canada, or at least in Ontario where we live, whether it’s Longo’s, Loblaws or Walmart (which is the worst), they just throw and shuffle stuff in, not paying attention, not taking care of the goods I just paid for.
  • Flyer distributors on the street : In Taiwan, quite often you get people handing out flyer or free Kleenex to you while walking on sidewalk, it can get annoying I know, but here is the thing; those distributors still say “Thank You” even when you don’t take what they are handing out.  Now I feel bad, cause it’s their job and probably they can go home ONLY when it’s all gone. Have you seen people handing out stuff or asking you to buy and say thank you when you refuse?  I haven’t, let me know if you see one.
  • Staff at Information Centre : We visited many tourist spots during our stay, for sure we utilize information centres even the ones at department stores.  With things change rapidly, I sometimes felt like a stranger too.  When we approached Information Centre and asked questions, the staff/volunteers immediately stand up listen and answer; the first time we were shocked by the manners and politeness, a whole lot of respect, never in a million year people here in Canada do that.

With all the experience, maybe I am biased but people in Taiwan are really really nice, well they are famously known for warm hospitality; but people hold umbrella and accompanied us to our destination even they were heading to opposite direction.

The difference I see?  It’s the attitude, the heart and willingness to help, with respect in mind when doing it, really practice “Giving is more precious than getting”.

Do you have similar experience here to share?  Would love to hear.

 

Here you can view my tweets while I was in Taiwan if you are interested, thanks to Twylah for creating such powerful content that tells story.

http://www.twylah.com/InfoSara/topics/saraintaiwan

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Today I Only Cared About Myself

June 24, 2011 By Leave a Comment

Runner Needs Goal Setting

There are few people I care dearly about in life; my best friends I’ve known over the years, my family and of course, my girls.  The priority usually goes reverse of that order, my girls always comes first (no, husband doesn’t even come close).  In fact, the main purpose of having my own business is to have the flexibility to be around when they need me for whatever reasons.

But today, I failed on that purpose because I was selfish enough to think just myself.  Some of you know recently I have started running, the reason being as I realized as I get older how quickly my health can go downhill if not excise regularly.  I am now following this #10kmIn10weeks program, slowly trying to get active and fit in life and for the record; I do feel very good mentally and physically, after each run.

Today is also the last day of hip hop dance; parents are welcomed to stay in watch and take pictures/videos of what the kids have learned.  The girls didn’t tell me in advance, and it’s the day I plan to run on free time (well, while they are in dance for 60 minutes), they begged me to stay but I denied because I know I will be much happier if I go for a run as planned and perhaps reach another milestone, and I did.  After the run, I arrived for the last 10 minutes to watch them; I could see their faces lit up because it’s a nice surprise and I got to see how brilliant they are.

Small things I have learned from this:

It is important to set goal – When I first start running, I had no goal to achieve, plan to follow, I was running with the flow, that is however I feel that day is how much I will run.  Sometimes I was stopped by neighbours who wanted to chat or interested to find out what was I working on, sometimes the girls would stop me at the park to give them a lift on money bar, not anymore.  Thanks to athletic hubby who found the program that’s easy for me to follow (he knows me well to know this will work), and in full support of getting all the running gears for me (the kick butt push works too).

It is crucial to follow through — After fooling around for two weeks, I am now in Week 2 of Day 3, you can help kick my butt by following #10kmIn10weeks on Twitter.  And guess what? I am away for the summer, I really need serious kicking happening :)

It is necessary to put yourself first (sometimes) – As much as I’d like to offer help or fulfill mom’s never ending obligations, I know I will do it better if I am satisfying, content and happy with myself.  Didn’t they say it on the airplane during emergency situation, put the oxygen mask on yourself first?

Do you run? What have you learned during the process? Please share your story with me, I would love to hear.

 

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How Social Media Saved My Marriage

April 29, 2011 By 2 Comments

Yes, you read it correctly here, and it’s all because of Julie Cole. Well, at least it was until I tweeted to her the other day then I realized, oh my gosh, this is so true !

You see, both Hubby and I signed on Twitter in 2009 but like many people, we did little about it. Then I invested the time and energy to figure out what it is, and over the last year I started having conversation with people, sharing information that I believe it’s useful and I was having so much fun. OK, maybe I was *a bit* addicted to it, what I mean by that is, I was on 90% of the time when I was awake, the other 10% of time I had to rush between “selected” domestic responsibilities and client projects, so Hubby was not very happy because I was busy talking to the people he doesn’t know, rather than talking to him.

So how exactly social media saved my marriage? I am not going to tell you those tips of what you need/who to follow/how to do, I think it’s fair to assume you are already a “pro” if your spouse gets irritated every time you go online.

Here are the lessons I learned to share with you;

  • Be persistent – we women are great at this. Think of it, did we not insist at least one thing our significant others should do while we were just dating; or at least one chore they should be helping at home to make our life easier, and if not everyone will be miserable?
  • Provide value – to partner/spouse, because you already know the value, or else why would you be online? It’s those who doesn’t see the value, doesn’t get it. Your partner/spouse only cares stuff that matters to him, man, right? In my case, Hubby is interested in few brands and wants to get information on updates/deals, social media not only provides him the channel for that, it also allows him to ask questions and get updated answer directly from the source; instead of calling 1-800 number, or emailing anonymously.
  • Be patient – seriously, we gotta have this one. Use the patience you have with kids (p.s. I know I don’t have whole lot but still) on your spouse/partner, this is tough but trust me, it’s all worth it. Guide him through the steps, be prepared for lots of questions and some frustrations, never argue with him about social media, it’s slow process but ROI is guaranteed.

Special thanks to Jeff Gignac, Anne Green and Julie Cole who spent time talking to Hubby, made him realize his wife is *cough* lovable and you really can make friends online.  Appreciate Horseshoe Valley and Glen Eden, you convinced Hubby that social media is the way to communicate.

Now that Hubby is “sort of “ interested in social media and makes it into his routines, I have to admit that I sometimes do get why it is *ahem* is bit annoyed when he is checking but hey, I understand and I am happy for him, really.

Well, this picture was taken 16 years ago, when you spent more than half of life with someone, I count it as blessing.  We don’t look at each other that way now, but very close.  Well, if you’ll excuse me, Hubby just DM me saying he is going to tag me on Facebook if I don’t go upstairs right. Just so you know, once in awhile, I am still a good wife :)

 


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