Some of you know, this past summer I took my 9-year-old and 7-year-old girls back to Taiwan, we spent 7 weeks there and for the first time ever — away from home not as  whole family.  Now, to say this trip creates stronger bond among us is an understatement, let’s just say I yell less at the girls ever since

Taiwan is where I from so the whole trip felt like going home, not on vacation; I am glad I was able to explain many things in details to the girls should they spot things unusual and unfamiliar.  The following observations are not one time experience, we’ve watched and tested and it has been consistent throughout.

To make fair reasonable comparison, I waited a while so the girls have time to validate what they experienced in both places (here is another excuse for procrastination), also to not compareg apples and oranges, we’ve ruled out things like; Taiwanese Dollars are so small (foreign exchange and currency issue), or Canada should have night markets (regulation issue); true, there’s T&T Waterfront Night Market once a year, however it’s different when you can try and taste hundreds of food stands every. single. day.

The services differences my girls noticed are:

• At check out counter at 7-Eleven, other CVS (Convenient Stores), or any retail stores : The clerk always carefully put our merchandises in shopping bag and if we brought our own reusable ones, they even organize all merchandise to make sure they “sit” nicely; where here in Canada, or at least in Ontario where we live, whether it’s Longo’s, Loblaws or Walmart (which is the worst), they just throw and shuffle stuff in, not paying attention, not taking care of the goods I just paid for.

• Flyer distributors on the street : In Taiwan, quite often you get people handing out flyer or free Kleenex to you while walking on sidewalk, it can get annoying I know, but here is the thing; those distributors still say “Thank You” even when you don’t take what they are handing out.  Now I feel bad, cause it’s their job and probably they can go home ONLY when it’s all gone. Have you seen people handing out stuff or asking you to buy and say thank you when you refuse?  I haven’t, let me know if you see one.

With all the experience, maybe I am biased but people in Taiwan are really really nice, well they are famously known for warm hospitality; but people hold umbrella and accompanied us to our destination even they were heading to opposite direction.

The difference I see?  It’s the attitude, the heart and willingness to help, with respect in mind when doing it, really practice “Giving is more precious than getting”.

Do you have similar experience here to share?  Would love to hear.

Here you can view my tweets while I was in Taiwan if you are interested, thanks to Twylah for creating such powerful content that tells story.

http://www.twylah.com/InfoSara/topics/saraintaiwan

There are few people I care dearly about in life; my best friends I’ve known over the years, my family and of course, my girls.  The priority usually goes reverse of that order, my girls always comes first (no, husband doesn’t even come close).  In fact, the main purpose of having my own business is to have the flexibility to be around when they need me for whatever reasons.

But today, I failed on that purpose because I was selfish enough to think just myself.  Some of you know recently I have started running, the reason being as I realized as I get older how quickly my health can go downhill if not excise regularly.  I am now following this #10kmIn10weeks program, slowly trying to get active and fit in life and for the record; I do feel very good mentally and physically, after each run.

Today is also the last day of hip hop dance; parents are welcomed to stay in watch and take pictures/videos of what the kids have learned.  The girls didn’t tell me in advance, and it’s the day I plan to run on free time (well, while they are in dance for 60 minutes), they begged me to stay but I denied because I know I will be much happier if I go for a run as planned and perhaps reach another milestone, and I did.  After the run, I arrived for the last 10 minutes to watch them; I could see their faces lit up because it’s a nice surprise and I got to see how brilliant they are.

Small things I have learned from this:

It is important to set goal – When I first start running, I had no goal to achieve, plan to follow, I was running with the flow, that is however I feel that day is how much I will run.  Sometimes I was stopped by neighbours who wanted to chat or interested to find out what was I working on, sometimes the girls would stop me at the park to give them a lift on money bar, not anymore.  Thanks to athletic hubby who found the program that’s easy for me to follow (he knows me well to know this will work), and in full support of getting all the running gears for me (the kick butt push works too).

It is crucial to follow through — After fooling around for two weeks, I am now in Week 2 of Day 3, you can help kick my butt by following #10kmIn10weeks on Twitter.  And guess what? I am away for the summer, I really need serious kicking happening

It is necessary to put yourself first (sometimes) – As much as I’d like to offer help or fulfill mom’s never ending obligations, I know I will do it better if I am satisfying, content and happy with myself.  Didn’t they say it on the airplane during emergency situation, put the oxygen mask on yourself first?

Do you run? What have you learned during the process? Please share your story with me, I would love to hear.

You see, both Hubby and I signed on Twitter in 2009 but like many people, we did little about it. Then I invested the time and energy to figure out what it is, and over the last year I started having conversation with people, sharing information that I believe it’s useful and I was having so much fun. OK, maybe I was *a bit* addicted to it, what I mean by that is, I was on 90% of the time when I was awake, the other 10% of time I had to rush between “selected” domestic responsibilities and client projects, so Hubby was not very happy because I was busy talking to the people he doesn’t know, rather than talking to him.

So how exactly social media saved my marriage? I am not going to tell you those tips of what you need/who to follow/how to do, I think it’s fair to assume you are already a “pro” if your spouse gets irritated every time you go online.

Here are the lessons I learned to share with you;

• Be persistent – we women are great at this. Think of it, did we not insist at least one thing our significant others should do while we were just dating; or at least one chore they should be helping at home to make our life easier, and if not everyone will be miserable?

• Provide value – to partner/spouse, because you already know the value, or else why would you be online? It’s those who doesn’t see the value, doesn’t get it. Your partner/spouse only cares stuff that matters to him, man, right? In my case, Hubby is interested in few brands and wants to get information on updates/deals, social media not only provides him the channel for that, it also allows him to ask questions and get updated answer directly from the source; instead of calling 1-800 number, or emailing anonymously.

• Be patient – seriously, we gotta have this one. Use the patience you have with kids (p.s. I know I don’t have whole lot but still) on your spouse/partner, this is tough but trust me, it’s all worth it. Guide him through the steps, be prepared for lots of questions and some frustrations, never argue with him about social media, it’s slow process but ROI is guaranteed.

Special thanks to Jeff Gignac, Anne Green and Julie Cole who spent time talking to Hubby, made him realize his wife is *cough* lovable and you really can make friends online.  Appreciate Horseshoe Valley and Glen Eden, you convinced Hubby that social media is the way to communicate.

Now that Hubby is “sort of “ interested in social media and makes it into his routines, I have to admit that I sometimes do get why it is *ahem* is bit annoyed when he is checking but hey, I understand and I am happy for him, really.

Well, this picture was taken 16 years ago, when you spent more than half of life with someone, I count it as blessing.  We don’t look at each other that way now, but very close.  Well, if you’ll excuse me, Hubby just DM me saying he is going to tag me on Facebook if I don’t go upstairs right. Just so you know, once in awhile, I am still a good wife

Appreciate some kind people had meaningful conversations with me online to exchanging ideas, debating arguments, sharing opinions and answering questions. For those who spent time with me over coffee, you are very special, you engage me in real life, you all walk the talk. Judith Samuels (@chieflemonhead), Evelyn So (@EvelynSo), Julia Rosien (@JuliaRosien), John Lepp (@JohnLepp), Niraj Adhiya (@NirajIdea) and Alison Burke (@AlisonBurke), thank you.

Looking back, my #FollowFriday Groupie Hugs still apply
but honorable mentions go to;

Laurel Crossley-Byers, Founder of Opti-Mom (@optimom), for revealing the true inner self of who I am;

Chris Young, THE amazing nice guy at B2Cy Connection (@chris_eh_young) and Lindsey Jay, awesome lady at Linsey Jacobs Graphic Designer (@lindseyjay) for revamping my website and logo;

Suzy Tonini (@InfoSourcer) and Charlene Burke (@charleneburke), these two top notch Information Professionals not only understand the importance and power of information to business, they advocate the true value of information; they unselfishly share their knowledge with me, they are the best cheerleaders when I am down. I have not met Suzy or Charlene in person, yet I felt like I’ve known them for ages

The takeaway for me this year — You can not be someone you are not meant to be, and don’t try to fit in in particular groups because then you are not true to yourself.

Thank you for being on this journey with me in 2010, let’s rock on!! I’ve had so many people helped me, what can I do to help you in 2011? Please let me know.

To all Duettes (according to my 8 year old daughter) and some dudes (Duri Al Ajrami @Duriajrami, Adam Avitable @avitable and Eric Alper @ThatEricAlper) at BlissdomCanada that I had the pleasure to speak with, thank you for sticking around more than 1 minute and not walk away by boredom (even if you WERE bored at least you stayed that long:) ), many I get to chat more online and offline after the conference. I also appreciate wonderful ladies who had written #BlissdomCanada posts shortly after , Annie (@PhdInParenting) even includes her presentation here http://www.slideshare.net/AnniePhdinparenting/blissdomcanadapresentation. The community is so awesome because (1) I couldn’t and wouldn’t have written it better myself as you can see; (2) you’ve all helped me re-learn the three days conference, all geared up and ready for Blissdom Canada 2011.

The thought from last session “Building Brands And Beyond“, is sticky in my head for a while and I’ve been thinking from different angle. When Julie Cole (@juliecole) and Erica Ehm (@YummyMummyClub) discussed how they brand their successful business, Julie mentioned all her staff holds true to core value at Mabel’s Label, and they have general guideline about online behaviour, great products and excellent customer services are key factor to their success; where Erica said she gives her staff 100% freedom what YMC bloggers want to write/say, be it hilarious or controversial, they want it to be an informative and safe place for mummy to join the club, read the blogs and share stories. The very distinction to me is corporate culture, a more traditional business (Mabel’s Label) and an emerging business (Yummy Mummy Club).

The main message is always be authentic, be true to who you are, and you are your own brand, online and offline. People talk online, and believe me, people talk MORE offline. It’s easier to know people online, it’s better to know people offline. I think that’s the beauty of social networks, opening the door and presenting the opportunity for us to know people in real. What you say/do/put out there, stays forever, for generations to come to see. A bit thoughtful before posting anything on the internet, always consider would it be appropriate for your family, friends or even grand children see the digital footprints and not feel embarrassed, or hurt.

I admire these two women, if you like them online you will LOVE them in real life when you get to know them more. Because I DO. Be consistent, be authentic, and you have no competition (Wait, this is Scott, a.k.a. @UnMarketing‘s line). Men are competitive and women are collaborative; men like to work independently and women like to work cohesively. In fact these two brands are so different yet can work together, support each other and cheer the success for each other; THIS, only happens in woman’s world, our world

People are taking shortcut

We all know we have to get there early, we all know there are reasons we can’t get there early, we all know this parade is more for our children than for ourselves, people will understand that. What I don’t know and don’t understand is that; some people think they can come in 5 minutes, or even 1 minute before it starts and just drop in front of the first row. Yeah, you heard it right, in front of the “first row”, which literally means, on the road and not the curb seats. Not only is this unfair to people who had been there hours waiting, THIS also sends the message to the child/ren you are saying that, “look, you can get whatever you want without much efforts.”

There was this guy, who came in the last minute and dumped his kid right in front of everybody, and he stood there just like that! Seconds later I guess his kid couldn’t really see from the spot, he put him on his shoulder!! People started talking to him and some pull his shirt to get him out of the way, cause the first float was coming in any minute; he wouldn’t listen, he gave dirty look and shouted back to the crowds, even the police on site had to talked to him few times because he finally left angrily, and swore of course.

People are being selfish and lazy

We were at the third row of this fire hydrant, right across from 33 Yonge Street. I know people jaywalk there, because I had done it too if I am late for meetings/appointments, so I’m guilty myself. I have no problem if you risk your own safety being selfish and lazy, you make the call you take the consequences; however it is completely different when you are being selfish and lazy, for risking others, especially children’s safety. Maybe the fire hydrant is easier to access and pass on regular days but certainly not on the day of parade, the biggest, famous Santa Claus Parade in Toronto.

So people cut through us despite the traffic light is just 30 seconds walk down the street, with their fully loaded briefcase/backpack, or skateboard, or with their child in arms; regardless whether they say “Excuse me” or not, didn’t matter my girls were squeezed/squished and hit by their belongings, couple times they almost fell from the chairs. People passed anyway.

People are verbally bullying

As a mother with kids at the Parade, I will let you pass, or let you squeezed in if there’s room; heck I’ll even let one parent in for the kid’s safety. However I have this woman, came 10 minutes after the Parade stared and asked if her little girl can stand between my girls, and wouldn’t listen when I told her it was really tight there. She pushed her girl in between my husband and my 6 year-old who was 1 inch behind the fire hydrant. Only did I noticed couple times after she turned and look at me in pain (I am such a bad mother) that she was being pushed against the fire hydrant, so I said to this mother “Excuse me, your daughter is leaning on my daughter and there is a fire hydrant in front of her, could you please…” Without letting me finish, this mom yelled at me “You are such a selfish b**ch, how can my tiny girl lean on your daughter, you are just an a**hole!” and she went on for ONE MINUTE. I was completely shocked, not only my girls have never heard of these words, I could also see they were frightened; to protect my children I repeatedly said to this women, “You have a good day and bye bye now”…Why would I bring myself down to her level?

I was really upset I had to comfort my girls and also myself, for things we had not done wrong for, why did I get called name when I try to protect them? Aren’t we parents supposed to model in front of our children? Why can’t we have a bit more of understanding, courtesy or at least some respects to people around us?

It’s such a shame we experience this at the 106th Toronto Santa Claus Parade, I think we’ll stick to our Mississauga Santa Claus Parade, or Brampton or Oakville from now. Were you at the Toronto Santa Claus Parade too? Can you let me know your spot if you have different experience so I know next time if we ever decide to go again?

I learned a lot from Johanne Thomas Yaccoto , President and Founder of Thomas Yaccato Group Consulting) and Sidneyeve Matrix, Professor in the Department of Film and Media at Queen’s University during their presentations.  Johanne talked about how gender intelligence connects women consumers and business growth, Sidneyeve took deep dive into how to click with Millennial Moms; as a researcher myself I could sit there all day absorbing the information and discuss with them, yeah, that’s what I will do at next conference.  I would encourage businesses want to understand women market, check out Johanne’s book, The Gender Intelligence Retailer ; and Sidneyeve’s presentation “How to Click with Millennial Moms“.

I listened to the brands that came came for the day, they were all very interested in this women connected power and how we influence our networks in the social space, the brands are eager to work with digital women but are still in the early stage of figuring out how.  I would give these brands; including KOBO,  Kraft Canada Foods, Maple Leaf, Egg Farmers of Ontario, Seagram’s, Coca-Cola, Smashbox, Bourjois Paris, Calvin Klein Fragrances, Booty Camp Fitness, Look Good Feel Better, credits for just being there, and hope we will see some action steps in the near future.

I engaged with people that I’ve chatted online, have met before or even it was our first hug, to have meaningful conversations, either to get to know them better or potential collaborations, and that was why I probably only met about 22 awesome women that day, still 78 to go!  I am o.k. with it, relationship doesn’t build in one day, engagement is not just 6 tweets.

Here is what I think how can brands and we digital women work together for win-win:

Getting to know us individually — Treat us with respect, we could be Brand’s ambassadors or advocates, but what we represent must resonate with our inner selves.  Ann Dougulas said it well, “Each of us has unique, niche reach”, some runs online magazine like Maria Lianos (@amotherworld), some runs online shopping deals/coupons/contest/forums like Kimberley Clancy (@FrugalShopperCA), some are simply amazing moms like Jen Banks (@abusymommy).  We are all different yet similar in some ways, we have different life style (if you call it style) and needs for our family, take some time to visit our websites and get to know us as person.

Thinking outside of the box — Some brands at the round table discussions asked what topics we write about, some are fashion obsessed, some are interested in exploring foods, the truth is we are into a little bit of everything, don’t forget we are women!  So for brands in food industry think Vicky (@momwhoruns) is a foodie (true!) who can spread words, may also want to know Julia (@NuggleMama) has 5 kids under 10, if she can use the recipes to quickly prepare delicious meal making the whole family happy, shouldn’t she have some say in it?  Or look at me, people who know me knows I don’t cook, so traditionally I’m not the type brands are looking for, but if I can use some ingredients/recipes that make me feel cooking is easy peasy and it’s actually awesome, will my friends and my network listen and curious to find out more? You bet!!

Looking at potential, not scale – Brands, Marketers like to know the scale; website traffic, RSS subscribers, numbers of followers/friends/fans/connections, I get it.  It’s business and marketing budget has to go somewhere.  Choose wisely, sometime it’s better to go with smaller fish.  Why?  Because smaller fish generally appreciate much more when given the opportunity.  Women are not competitive, we are cooperative and we support each other tirelessly and selfishlessly.  We help each other to be successful and cheers for the success.  Everyone starts with small, if brands can cultivate the relationship from the beginning, it’ll last longer.

Hiring your market for your market — Look at some of the successful women today, Erica Ehm (@YummyMummyClub), Maureen Dennis (@weewelcome), Julie Cole (@juliecole) from Mable’s Label (@mabelhood) and many others, all staffed with brilliant women; because they understand what women can accomplish once empowered.  For brands, I would suggest at least one Brand Manager works with one Community Manager, if not 1 Product Manager with 1 Community Manager; providing enough training (if necessary) and support (very important) to make sure this Community Manager is the face and voice to the public.

All of these takes time, but isn’t brand building?  Never before women has the opportunity to let our voice be heard, it should be heard and needs to be heard.  In this digital, social world, brands that qualifying relationship not quantifying relationship will win, because after all, relationship building is not a fast food culture, it ain’t healthy if it is.

Would you agree?  What do you think?

(Big shout out to Donna Marie Antoniadis (@donnaantoniadis) and Mark Grindeland (@mark_grindeland) for hosting the ShesConnected Conference (@sheisconnected), looking forward to next year’s events!!)

Not too long ago, I slightly (meaning without realizing it) dislocated my shoulder, and it ended up developing into tendinitis but I still thought I could keep things together, because you know, there are so much to do and I need to keep going, and be perfect.  That’s right.  Then, over the long weekend, everything sort of collapsed; I can’t perform daily functions as woman, wife or mom because my left arm simply dropped, has killer pain caused by sudden movement.

I am learning to let go.  Trust me , this is not a easy task at all, for CFO, a.k.a. Control Freak Officer, like me.  And here is what I’ve learned;

All women Are Beautiful

As woman, we put on skin/hair/beauty care products,  we try to stay in fashion, stay with trends, the dress the tops the skirts, and the shoes the boots the flats.  With my arm operates at 23% of capacity, I decided as long as I am clean, I am likable.  Assuming every woman is beautiful, I just want to be a good woman, a woman.

All Wives Are Amazing

As (not desperate) wife, we clean the rooms, we mop the floor,  we wipe the counter top and  we vacuum the whole house. We run errands, shop groceries, empty dishwasher and fold laundry.  With my arm operates at 23% of capacity, I decided as long as my house is clean, it is livable.  Assuming every wife is amazing, I just want to be a good wife, a wife.

All Moms Are Super

As mom, we make breakfast, we pack lunch, we tend their homework and we follow the daily routines cause we have to stick together.  We go on the field trips, we participate the teacher-parent interviews, we sit in the school concerts, we even help with their school projects if you know what I mean.  With my arm operates at 23% of capacity, I decided as long as my kids are clean, they are lovable.  Assuming every mom is super, I just want to be a good mom, a mom.

Sometimes, well, o.k. most of time if you let go, you are actually doing yourself a favour, and doing people around you a (huge) favour.  And the beauty of it is, once you let go there is NO let down.  I am going to practice this every day now, how about you?

I’m so excited I am going to BlissdomCanada in October, seeing Lisa, a.k.a. Party Mummy roll out the red carpet, I can’t help but walk on it Let me tell you, it does feel really good !! Anyhoo, I used to be super great putting names and faces together; as I aged this ability is fading quickly, that’s why this is a good practice for me to get to know more awesomesauces and make strong connections before I meet all of you !

Here’s what to do:

a) Cut and paste the quiz onto your blog.

b) Delete my answers.

c) Answer the questions.

d) Tweet a few of the bloggers you’d love to get to know better and invite them to play along.

e) Leave a link to your blog with your quiz answers in the comment section below.

Are you ready? Get set, GO !!

————————————————————————-

1. Did you attend Blogher10?

No , I didn’t know it until all tickets were sold out…sigh.

2. Are you attending BlissdomCanada this fall?

Yes yes yes ! I know it’s bad practice that I bought the ticket with our LOC but hey, it’d be awesome if I get a sponsor

3. When are you at your blogging best – a.m. or p.m.?

I’d say, p.m, or late night, but actually I can do any time when I am “in the mood”.

4. How many blogs do you have? (Include the links)

Just one, recently started and I really need to work my butt on it !

www.infosara.com

5. What technical skill would you like to learn to improve your blog?

What? Oh I need to learn technical skillS big time, anything that will improve my blog is needed   .

6. Do you prefer the sound of silence or does action abound while you blog?

Actions won’t do, I’m easily distracted especially when there are other animals, ahem, I mean other people around.  Music is fine, however, no talking.

7. Do you include the names of your family in your blog?

Yes.

8. Do you post pictures or videos of your children?

Pictures so far, videos in the *future* plan.

9. What’s the grossest thing you’ve spilled on your keyboard?

None, I am very conscious about it as I know how hard it is to clean the keyboard but if you look at the duvet cover besides the desk, that’s another story.

10. Ever posted something you wrote while intoxicated?

Don’t think so but then again, I have very short, selective memory.

11. Do you go back and edit old posts just because you can?

Not really, but I know I can and probably should.

12. Have you ever suspected somebody took something you wrote and pawned it off as their own?

Well, not sure how many people are reading my blog at this point, but I’ll be flattered if that happens.

13. Does your spouse read your blog? What do they say about it?

No, he doesn’t even know I have a blog, or at least I think he doesn’t know or if he does then he is really doing a good job pretending it.

14. What’s something cool/positive/unexpected for you, that has resulted directly from blogging?

When I first started, it was simply an outlet for me to put honest thoughts about day to day life, it’s encouraging to know people are reading it and just amazing to connect and have conversations with others that share common groun.

15. Link to a post (or two) which demonstrate your writing style:

I Have Been Faking For So Long

Who Wants The Medal More? My Child or Me??

Ladies In This House Are Spoiled By One Good Man

16. Name a blog(s) that makes you exclaim, “Damn! I wish I’d written that!”

No, I am not name dropping nor could I write like them, but you said “damn” and “wish”, right?

Kathy Buckworth

Sharon DeVellis

Catherine Connors

Want to play? Come on and I promise you will have a blast !!