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Who Wants The Medal More? My Child or Me??

June 25, 2010 By 8 Comments

It happened this past Wednesday afternoon but I took some time to cool myself down before I write it, because I was so ashamed of myself.  I was at school that day for graduation, my girls are only 6 and 8 but they were going on stage to perform and, of course there was awards ceremony after that, for all category.

Like many moms, I absolutely think my girls are the smartest on the planet, they are exceptional, they are next to none.  For the whole year, all teachers in school have been telling me about their wonderful works, their outstanding achievements and their lovely personalities to “satisfy” me; but then when the awards ceremony finished, my girls had no medal hanging around their necks.  No academic honour roll, no French excellence, not even music dedication for all the piano lessons they have been taking.  NONE.  ZIPPO.

I was so upset that, as soon as they got in the car and buckled up, even before I could start the engine; I asked “Do you ever envy your friends when they get the medals?  My girls are so innocent they don’t even know why they have to envy their friends, why can’t they just be happy for their friends?  I was so mean and just couldn’t let that go so I kept pressing, “Do you know what you need to do to get the medals?”  I saw two little heads nodding and whisper : “yes”.

Oh, it was heart wrenching to see that and felt I was such a loser.  At that very moment, I let the monster of vanity out and overpowered me, scared my little girls unnecessary, probably made them feel they’ve disappointed me…oh my gosh, how could I fail so miserably ? Why do I have to be so competitive for such silly things ?? I should be proud of their hard work, I should be encouraging any of their effort, I should be supportive for who they are, especially when their report cards did proved they really had a tremendous school year.  Why can’t I keep my mouth shut and do all of that ???

So what I want to say here is, “Sweethearts, mommy is so sorry for what I’ve said and I promise in the summer, I will make those medal for every single category and give them to you.  Wait, we don’t even need those stupid medals, do we?”

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  • Anonymous

    Thank you for the support Jacki. I am just an ordinary mom learning and trying very hard to grow with my girls, also really value for who they are, not who I want them to be.

  • JackiYo

    Very brave post, Sara. We all make mistakes. Own them and show your daughters you're fallible. It's a hard line to walk between wanting just to do the best we can and striving for the medals…. What are we REALLY after? Hopefully it's the former.

  • sarachi

    Thank you for the support Jacki. I am just an ordinary mom learning and trying very hard to grow with my girls, also really value for who they are, not who I want them to be.

  • Joryyeh2004

    Oh, that was so brave to bring it out. I was just like you in many many years… even now, still trying to control myself. I confessed to my son after all the wrong doings and told him I will improve. It's just like the rope pulling, no matter how much I want to pull him over to my senses of value; but down to the bottom of my heart, I wish him won. Won of his self dignity, won of his own value, and won of his own way. That will be the true medal of his life. Free moms and our children. Good job, Sara.

  • sarachi

    Thank you for reading Jory, love when you say “wish him won…the medal of his life”, so true. Let's work toward that together.

  • annegreen

    What a thoughtful brave post! It's not easy to admit our weaknesses and to work to change them. Bravo Sara Bravo.

  • sarachi

    Thank you Anne, parenting is always a work in progress, isn't it? Thank you for being a friend.

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